


Moral Meltdown

by W0W



Series: Fluffy Fuchsia famILY [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: (at least in this fic), CODE FUCHSIA, Code Orange, Code Red, Deceit Is A Good Guy, Fighting, Other, Uses the Code system mentioned in part 1, everyone is Stressed™, self deprecating thoughts, some fighting family times, ugly crying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-09-02 04:00:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16779175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/W0W/pseuds/W0W
Summary: Everyone is Stressed™ and Patton is trying his best.But is his best enough.





	Moral Meltdown

**Author's Note:**

> loosely based off this art  
> https://ocotopushugs.tumblr.com/post/180545607451/have-some-angsty-patton-art-taking-care-of
> 
> no I'm not projecting on Patton, what are you talking about.

Moonlight poured through the open windows as the cold air blew the curtains around, the sound of his Auditory Anesthesia playlist pounding in his ears as Patton lay curled on the bed. He rubbed his hand across his chest, pressing with the palm of his hand as if the pressure could ease the deep ache that had settled there. He let out a broken sigh as his lower lip trembled and his eyes watered.  


His hands moved to his hair, fisting the strands and tugging hard to fight the pressure and emptiness inside his skull. This had been building for days and he’d done everything he could to try to combat it, but it hadn’t been enough. He hadn’t been enough.  


He felt his throat start to close and the tightness in his chest increased as the tears began to spill down his cheeks, his teeth sinking into his lower lip as he fought to remain quiet. He couldn’t make any sound, couldn’t let the others hear him, couldn’t let anyone know. They counted in him. He was the pillar people relied on, but who would trust a pillar that was crumbling?  


No one. That’s who.  


And if no one could rely on him, then no one would turn to him. And if no one would turn to him, then what point did he have?  


He was Papa Patton. Someone to be a father figure, someone to rely on, to lean on, to gather strength from. And if no one came to him anymore…  


Patton shook his head. He was spiraling. He needed to stop. His hands tangled in his hair again, pulling harder as the ache in his chest pulsated again. It felt like a black hole, sucking all that he was away. He was just so empty.  


This week, this month, this entire year had been so draining. November was almost over, and Thanksgiving had finally passed, but that meant Christmas was just around the corner. All that time with family and friends and mow gifts were going to be expected.  
Beyond that, it felt like everyone had been having an awful day.  


Thomas had spent the day calming down four different friends. Bringing them out of spirals and encouraging them, even spending thirty minutes on the phone, sacrificing his own wellbeing as he tried his best not to disturb the other people in the house by standing outside in the cold.  


Logan was stressed over deadlines and overworking himself, the task of pulling him away and monitoring him falling on Patton’s shoulders.  


Roman was constantly producing ideas but was struggling to fully follow through. Between constantly doubting the value of his ideas and fleeting motivation, the house was piled with half-finished projects.  


The other’s stress plus the social drain of the holiday season led to Virgil being more and more on edge. His dark bean was barely even eating anymore, stress churning in his stomach.  


With everyone stressed as all get out, no one wanted to admit it, which meant a lot of lying. So poor Dee was around a lot. All of their lying and then the constant distrust meant Dee was living with constant migraines and fighting tears. That combined with the cold weather meant lots of cuddles and soup making.  


But hey, if Patton was comforting everyone else, no one would realize he was hurting, right? Right. No one realized. Or maybe, no one cared. Maybe he was only worth their attention when they needed his. Patton shook his head vigorously and clutched his arms tight around his body as a sob wracked his frame.  


He needed to get out. His room was amplifying his emotions and not a one of them were positive just now.  


Patton hurriedly sunk out of his room, appearing in the living room and dropping to his knees curling in around himself as he bit into his fist to try to silence the sobs that threatened to spill from his lips.  


He didn’t know when he’d fallen asleep but the next thing he knew, Logan and Roman’s voices were echoing down the stairway and into the living room. Patton curled tighter into himself as he registered the sounds of an argument.  


The two stood screaming at each other, carrying the fight from the living room into the kitchen and Patton remained the unseen witness, biting into his hand again as silent tears streamed down his face.  


Before long, Virgil’s voice was joining the fray and Patton began warring with the need to fill his role and keep the peace and his desire to just fade from existence.  


The shouting escalated in the kitchen as things were being slammed. Then Thomas was popping up to complain about the headache they were giving him and if Patton hadn’t been crying before, he certainly was now. He was barely conscious of the fact that he was being pulled into someone’s lap as he fought to muffle sobs at the thought that he had so utterly failed his host.  


Through the fog of his mind, he heard Thomas wonder where he was, Virgil chiming in to say that if anyone would have settled things, it’d be him. The small smile that had begun to form on his face disappeared instantly, washed away in a fresh flood of tears as both Logan and Roman shouted about how they didn’t need Patton.  


“Maybe not, but he needs you.”  


Dee’s quiet statement echoed loudly in the sudden silence that had followed the shouts.  


“What in Narnia are you doing here?”  


“Your lies are not welcome here.”  


“What the fuck did you do to Patton!”  


“What do you mean?”  


All four shouted simultaneously and Deceit merely held the sobbing side closer to him as he leveled a glare at the others. “You’ve been so busy seeking comfort from your own Code Orange’s that you failed to see where anyone else is.” The others had the decency to look guilty. “He’s been Fuchsia for weeks now and he’s been lying here sobbing for the last hour while you lot fought over who knows what!”  


“Oh gods.” Roman’s voice cracked as he dropped to his knees, hand over his mouth. Virgil and Thomas were across the room and in front of Patton, whispering apologies.  


“Patton, why?” Logan’s voice brokenly asked. “Why would you insist we use a system to let each other know if you weren’t going to use it?”  


“If I…” Patton sobbed as he tore himself from Dee’s grasp and pulled himself to his feet, arms held wide from his body. “If I wasn’t going to tell?” Patton’s voice cracked as he weakly yelled, gesturing at the red shirt he was wearing and the thick red marker lines spelling ‘help’ running over his arms. “What if you’d bothered to fucking pay attention? I fix and fix and fix and fix and give, give, give and you don’t care. I wrote these with Roman’s marker, while he sat facing me. I passed out from exhaustion on the floor in your room Logan!”  


Patton’s, hands tore at his hair again, gasping for breath as he collapsed onto his knees. “No no no no no nonononono… I’m sorry... sorry sorry sososorry..” Patton sobbed as he curled into himself. Dee quickly wrapped his arms around him as Virgil and Thomas carefully pulled his hands from his hair.  


“Patton breathe.” Logan’s hands settled over his thighs, tapping out a slow, steady rhythm as Roman carefully transported them to his room, changing it to a large nest of blankets and pillows.  


Dee carefully twisted Patton’s body to lay solidly against him as all the others curled around each other, tears pouring from each of their eyes as sheer emotional exhaustion hit them all.  


Dee carefully hooked his pinky with Patton’s, pressing a gentle kiss to his hair and quietly whispering “We’re here. You’re safe.” As Patton’s body succumbed to the exhaustion, tears still rolling down his face


End file.
